Monday, February 1, 2010

I miss you, I love you

Last weekend I spent times with Kak Laila's family. I felt like home :) How lovely that feeling was! Actually, from the first day I stepped my feet on NZ's ground, I have already MISSED my family and friends..They are all scattered around the globe..I want to be there with them, even just for a while..I felt EMPTY after returning from Kak Laila's place. Starting from yesterday, I am alone and shall be alone in this court until Ain came back from Malaysia next week. It is because I LOVE all of them (ukhwah fillah, inshaAllah) that this feeling knocked on my door. I have a choice to open or ignore it, but I chose to open it. There, in front of me, I saw MEMORIES that I cherished...The laughters, tears, sulking, long faces, smiles etc..I don't have to flip through the album to remind me of them, as they all embedded in my mind and in my heart- the best photo album ever! How these small matters built the me inside..I learnt a lot from them..To be independent, to be creative, to venture on new things, to try hard enough to climb the highest mountain and to survive in the end of the journey. And how I woke up early in the morning and made Chapati after subuh prayer for mak and mak Ndak, went for grocery, sometimes hang around for hours in the malls, exchanged stories, had discussions over lunch or dinner, had book reviews, out for movies, visiting family members, enjoying the nature...I have nothing to regret during my short stay last year in Malaysia, Alhamdulillah..
Today, I received a bad news about Kak Long's health condition which moved me emotionally..I want to be there by her side, in Malaysia..I want to be Alang's and Mak Lang's support system..I wanted it so badly right now...But I realised, I can't fight what is beyond my control...I have my responsibility here and all I can do is pray..I pray for your quick recovery, Kak Long. May Allah give you the strength to move on and fight it..You are the most independent cousin I ever knew, you are strong, smart and kind..InshaAllah, Allah will be there to help you. He is our Refuge and our Hope..

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